nerdofchaos:

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

see you all in hell

(via cowgirlsteph)

ihaveremade:

*hits bong* *bong starts crying*

(via osirass)

talkdontchangeathing:

flying—changes:

just-give-me-the-reins:

Yeah sure I could sit under my horse. I could also snort a pound of cocaine, but I won’t do either because chances are I will die.

sometimes I have a feeling I could lie down under my horse or do crystal meth, but then I think mmmm better not

(via vacant-city)

chickenuqqet:

when a little kids telling you a story but you can’t understand them

image

(via high--horse)

decodethefallenmoon

hackamore

warmbloodz

& anyone else who wants to play cards against humanity with me and Kelsey, 

http://pyx-1.socialgamer.net/game.jsp#game=60

password is Tumblr!

Someone skype me I don’t want to write this paper yet and I can sleep in as long as I want tomorrow pleasseeee even if I don’t know you we can tell each other our life stories!

pride-riding: 5'3 woo lol 

Haha omg you’re short too why is everyone short!!

verybluebirdy: im 5 ft and 3/4 inch xoxoxoxo tiny bean 

Short short tiny short I’m taller than u